I have decided to take pity on you loser virgins and give you a little helping hand. You see, considering youre a lifetime member of the hand shandy club, youve never had sex. With anyone. Except yourself. As such, chances are you are completely terrible in bed, awful at pleasing anyone else and incapable of delaying your own gratification. So Ive made this instructional video to help you, in case - heaven forbid - you do actually find yourself in the position where youre gonna have to perform sexually some day. Just do exactly as I tell you, when I tell you, and perhaps you wont be such a sad virgin loser for the rest of your life!
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